


Five Times Robert Didn't Spank Julia

by Anonymous



Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: 4. Spanking, Anal Fingering, Awkward Crush, Coming In Pants, Deliberate SPAG Errors for Realism, Diapers, Disciplinary Soapstick Suppositories, Discipline, Do Not Archive, Epistolary, F/M, Fade to Black, Forced infantilization, Implied Sexual Content, Incestuous crush, Jealousy, Kink Discovery, Kinktober 2019, Manipulative Relationship, Non-Sexual Age Play, Omorashi, Parent-Child Relationship, Parenthood, Plot Backfires on Plotter, Slow Build, Spanking, Younger Character Initiates, comedic misunderstandings, email format
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-01
Updated: 2019-10-01
Packaged: 2020-10-25 13:23:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 6
Words: 12,789
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20724902
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: And the one time he did (and she made it super awkward)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [anysin](https://archiveofourown.org/users/anysin/gifts).

**From:** gonehunting@demoncustomer.net

**Subject:** Hello, how should I tell my daughter about periods?

**To:** listserv@listserv.parentsoftweensconnect.com

Hello,

Thank you for approving me. I am a single father to an 11 year old. Her mother died 4 years ago. She’s always been a sweet and obedient child, but yesterday she changed into a totally different person when she came home from the library. We usually talk about what we’re reading after a library trip, so I asked her what she checked out. I was shocked when she shouted at me to mind my own business and leave her 'the f*** alone'. I was too surprised to say anything, so I walked into the kitchen and started dinner instead of handling it. I know I should have taken care of it then, but it was very out of character for her. 

I was worried at first. But then I remembered she might be starting her period soon. I haven’t told her anything about periods yet, and only the vaguest details about sex back when her mothes was alive. What is the best way to talk to her about periods and also the best way to discipline her now that she is too old for time-out? It has been smooth sailing with her since she was little, so I don’t know how to handle this.

Gratefully Yours,  
Robert

**From:** kendra@parentsoftweensconnect.com

**Subject:** Re: Hello, how should I tell my daughter about periods?

**To:** listserv@listserv.parentsoftweensconnect.com

Hello, Robert, and welcome to the list.

I’m very sorry to hear about your wife passing, and of course about your daughter shouting at you. I wonder if she was bothered by someone, or if she read some material she was uncomfortable with. Perhaps you can talk to her about it when she’s more relaxed. 

You should definitely talk to her about periods and sex soon, before someone in school does. Just stick to the basics and make sure to ask if she has any questions when you’re done explaining. If you don’t feel very knowledgeable or comfortable with it, you could get her a book on puberty and have her read it and ask questions when she finishes it. I think it would be better if you talked to her about it, however. Let us know how it goes.

Kendra  
\---------------------------------------------------------------  
**Unless otherwise stated, all opinions in this email are mine, not ParentsofTweensConnect.com**

**From:** gonehunting@demoncustomer.net

**Subject:** Re: Hello, how should I tell my daughter about periods? Update

**To:** listserv@listserv.parentsoftweensconnect.com

Hello, Kendra,

Thank you for your advice. I waited until bedtime and tried to talk to her about what happened. It went very badly. She said she plans on growing up to become a bad person and I should discipline her better! I asked her what she meant, and she said she intends to become an international jewellery thief and confidence woman. I asked why she would choose to grow up to be a criminal when she's very clever and likes making the world a better place. She said, 'Because you don't discipline me enough'. I did what I normally do when she is making poor decisions, which was try to talk to her about why they were poor decisions, but she kept insisting she was going to grow up and be 'evil'. When I said her mother would be disappointed by those choices, she said, 'F*** you, I don't care what Mum thinks! She left us so she doesn't get a say'.

Obviously she will probably not grow up to do either of those things, but I am worried by her behaving this way. Should I take her to a child psychologist? I have not talked to her about periods yet still but I will do that soon.

Gratefully Yours,  
Robert

**From:** mummyof5arseholekids@demoncustomer.net

**Subject:** Re: Hello, how should I tell my daughter about periods? Update

**To:** listserv@listserv.parentsoftweensconnect.com

HAHAHA! Your daughter sounds like a future commedien Robert! Wish one of my kids would grow up to be an international jewel thief and con artist! Probably make enough to pay off our home finally.

Joking aside, I think a child psycologist is overkill at this point. She sounds like she's got a few issues with her mum's death still, but most likely you can handle them at home. Any way for you to sneak a peak at what books she got?

xoxo Susan

_.-=-._.-=-._.-=-._.-=-._.-=-._.-=-._.-=-._.-=-._.-=-._.-=-._.-=-.  
Mum to Chris (14), Lisa (13), Mike (11), Sarah (8), & Gemma (6) 

**From:** gonehunting@demoncustomer.net

**Subject:** Re: Hello, how should I tell my daughter about periods? Update

**To:** listserv@listserv.parentsoftweensconnect.com

Susan,

I did peek at her books after she fell asleep. It was nothing remarkable, just some Nancy Drew books and an old parenting book. I suppose she's going to read the parenting book and tell me how to discipline her properly. That would be just like my Julia. Hopefully she's only cross from her period coming soon, and she'll be herself again in a few days. I'll let you know what happens.

Gratefully,  
Robert


	2. Chapter 2

**From:** gonehunting@demoncustomer.net

**Subject:** I Royally F*cked Up 'The Talk' by Laughing, Help?! 

**To:** listserv@listserv.parentsoftweensconnect.com

Morning All,

I'm not one to usually talk about feelings and the like, but I've got to admit I'm feeling like a failure today. I made Julia a nice breakfast and brought it to her in her bed. I wanted to catch her in a good mood and keep her there so I could give her the facts of life. Well, I succeeded in the first goal but not in the rest. She squealed like she was a toddler again to be woken up with breakfast in bed, and she made me sit with her while she ate. She seemed herself again, and I thought, 'So far, so good'. 

I read I should ask what she already knew first, so I did that, and it still didn't kill her mood somehow. She talked quite a bit, and I counted my blessings she was so agreeable. In fact, she told me all sorts of things I didn't know about periods (though not about sex, thank God). Actually, it was only when we got to the sex part that things went wrong. 

Once she finished telling me about periods, I asked her what she knew about sex, and she blushed and said she knew 'all about it', and that it was something special you were meant to do with your true love, and that she felt she was ready if her true love was. Well, that tickled me, and I couldn't help laughing at how adorable and charming she was. I said something like, 'Oh, Jul, you're cute as a button, but you're much too young to be meeting your true love, let alone having sex with him!'

Her eyes got all wide and teary, and she said, 'I don't understand why you asked me that question if you were just going to laugh at my answer'. I tried to apologize, but she wasn't having it. Then I tried to ask what she imagined sex with her 'true love' would involve, but she said I was confusing her and giving her 'mixed signals', and that I was 'downright cruel'! Obviously I shouldn't have laughed, but I don't think I was cruel?! 

Can anyone please help me decode my daughter and make things right with her? She's been crying all morning, and it's tearing me apart. 

Robert

**From:** mummyof5arseholekids@demoncustomer.net

**Subject:** Re: I Royally F*cked Up 'The Talk' by Laughing, Help?!

**To:** listserv@listserv.parentsoftweensconnect.com

Oh nooooo, I'm so sorry to hear that Robert! I don't think you did anything terribly wrong, tween girls are super sensitive like that. Maybe you can buy her some flowers (or food, if she's more motivated by that like mine are, LOL) and apologize after she's had a chance to get it all out? xoxo

Susan

_.-=-._.-=-._.-=-._.-=-._.-=-._.-=-._.-=-._.-=-._.-=-._.-=-._.-=-.  
Mum to Chris (14), Lisa (13), Mike (11), Sarah (8), & Gemma (6)

**From:** gonehunting@demoncustomer.net

**Subject:** Re: I Royally F*cked Up 'The Talk' by Laughing, Help?!

**To:** listserv@listserv.parentsoftweensconnect.com

Thanks, Susan,

I will try flowers later today. I tried to bring her ice cream a minute ago, and it went so disastrously I don't know what to do right now. All I said was, 'I'm so sorry I laughed at you. I forget sometimes how grown-up and beautiful you've gotten. Of course you'll get any boy you want, when you're ready to start dating.' I worked hard to come up with that line, but it made her throw her ice cream bowl and nearly hit my head! She said I didn't understand her and I was making her feel 'like some kind of freak'. What did I do wrong?

Desperately,  
Robert

**From:** thepinkertonstrustno1@aol.com

**Subject:** Re: I Royally F*cked Up 'The Talk' by Laughing, Help?!

**To:** listserv@listserv.parentsoftweensconnect.com

Hey Robert,

Feel free to disregard, but is there any chance your daughter might not exactly be interested in boys? It sounds like she got upset immediately after you called her true love "him," and then she got agitated that you didn't understand her when you said she could get any boy she wants. Maybe it's not boys that she wants? I could be way off-base, but I thought it might be worth asking about. Again, I hope I'm not out of line for suggesting this.

Best,  
Amy

  


Melissa & Amy Pinkerton 

* * *

  

    
    
    T H E         ,.__                                       XXXXXxX xxxXXXXXX
                 ((-\)),                                       xXX      xXX
                 | . . {         ___.                            X      XX
    T R U T H    (  _) )       /(()-/)                            X   xX
                  \ _ /       / /. . |\                            xx xX
                __-\_/-__     ||  ]  )|        T  H  E   (X)   F  I  L  E  S
    I S        / \ \@//  \    /|  -  ||                            xX xx
              |  | |{||__|\   /_\___/|,                           Xx   Xx
              |  | |}||  ||  |    \/   \                         XX     XX   TM
    O U T     |  {.|{/|  ||  | |_| __| |                       xXX       XX
              |  /.|__|  ||  \___\_____/                     xXXXXXXXXx XXXXxXx
               \/ .|=>|  |/   /   o|  \
    T H E R E
    

**From:** kendra@parentsoftweensconnect.com

**Subject:** Re: I Royally F*cked Up 'The Talk' by Laughing, Help?! MOD NOTE

**To:** listserv@listserv.parentsoftweensconnect.com

MODERATOR NOTE:

As a reminder, hate speech and personal attacks on other members are not allowed on this mailing list.

As stated in our community rules (http://parentsoftweensconnect.com/mailinglist/rules), Parents of Tweens Connect welcomes parents of all ages, races, religions, abilities, **sexual orientations, and family structures (single parents, two mothers, poly families, etc.)**

Seriously, it's 1994, and we are having these conversations through our computers. In this day and age, there is no reason we can't all co-exist and have civil conversations about the huge, challenging job we all have in common: helping our kids survive their tweens. I have already banned three people and put emails on moderated status for the rest of the day, so behave.

Kendra  
\---------------------------------------------------------------  
**Unless otherwise stated, all opinions in this email are mine, not ParentsofTweensConnect.com**

**From:** gonehunting@demoncustomer.net

**Subject:** Re: I Royally F*cked Up 'The Talk' by Laughing, Help?!

**To:** listserv@listserv.parentsoftweensconnect.com

Dear Amy,

You are a genius! Thank you! I bought the flowers and had another talk with Julia. Looks like third time really is the charm!

This time, I said, 'When we talked earlier, I assumed you had met some boy and fallen in love with him. But if I maybe got it wrong, and if maybe you love someone society says you're not supposed to, well, f*ck society! I love you too much to care what "society" thinks. I reckon love is a good thing, regardless of who's loving whom.' 

Well, I was expecting her to get upset with me again, because that seems to be her way right now. And she did start crying then, but I could tell she was happy-crying. She gave me a big hug and kiss and sat on my lap for a while. She didn't even get upset when I said, 'Now, all that said, I think you're still much too young to be having sex, all right?'

She only nodded and said, 'I understand, Dad. I can wait for that. But Dad, aren't you going to punish me for throwing my bowl at you? I really shouldn't have done that, and I'd feel better if you punished me for it'.

What a strange child! Love her to death, but I'll never understand her, I don't think. But I was afraid to start another row, so I've taken her Game Boy. She's sleeping peacefully as a baby now. I hope this is the end of her foul mood!

Gratefully,  
Robert


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's a bit of non-sexual (in universe, at least!) noncon diapering and desperation in this chapter, but no watersports descriptions or anything. Cheers!

**From:** gonehunting@demoncustomer.net

**Subject:** How to Give 11-Year-Old Daughter 'Girl Advice'?! 

**To:** listserv@listserv.parentsoftweensconnect.com

Hello again,

I emailed a few weeks back about my 11-year-old daughter, and you all helped me figure out she was behaving badly because she thought I didn’t support her being a lesbian. Things have been a lot better since then. She has been cross a few times, especially on her period, but luckily she calms down again with a hug or kiss from her old Dad. I have also been at pains to assure her that her mother would want her to be herself and follow her heart, just like I want for her. On the whole, things have been all right.

However, I’m worried now that she might be distracted by a girl she fancies. Her marks have been slipping even though she spends a lot of time alone in her room reading. I didn’t make the connection until we were shopping earlier today, and a girl from her school approached us. This girl was rather giggly and coy, so I think she may fancy Julia in return. Unfortunately my Julia seems to think the way to show someone she likes them is to be unkind to them. How can I get her to use better manners toward her crush?

When I tried to talk to her about it, which is normally how I handle discipline, she rolled her eyes at me and said, ‘And what are you going to do about it, Dad? Take me over your knee and smack me? Piss off!’ (Mind, she has never been smacked ever in her life.) Then when we got home, she stomped up to her room and slammed the door. When I asked her not to disrespect the house like that, she opened and slammed the door repeatedly. I’m at a loss for what to do with her. Any advice?!

All the Best,  
Robert

**From:** thepinkertonstrustno1@aol.com

**Subject:** Re: How to Give 11-Year-Old Daughter 'Girl Advice'?! 

**To:** listserv@listserv.parentsoftweensconnect.com

Hi again, Robert!

First, it really warms my heart that you’re so supportive of Julia. So many kids get kicked out of their homes for being gay. It gives me hope for the future to see a dad not just tolerating this part of his daughter, but embracing it.

With that in mind, don’t feel like you need to take it easy on her because she’s gay. If anything, she’ll feel more loved and secure if you just treat her like a normal kid. That probably means no sleepovers with people she likes as more than friends, regardless of gender, but it also means no slamming doors or being rude to people.

Hope that helps,  
Amy 

Melissa & Amy Pinkerton 

* * *

  

    
    
    T H E         ,.__                                       XXXXXxX xxxXXXXXX
                 ((-\)),                                       xXX      xXX
                 | . . {         ___.                            X      XX
    T R U T H    (  _) )       /(()-/)                            X   xX
                  \ _ /       / /. . |\                            xx xX
                __-\_/-__     ||  ]  )|        T  H  E   (X)   F  I  L  E  S
    I S        / \ \@//  \    /|  -  ||                            xX xx
              |  | |{||__|\   /_\___/|,                           Xx   Xx
              |  | |}||  ||  |    \/   \                         XX     XX   TM
    O U T     |  {.|{/|  ||  | |_| __| |                       xXX       XX
              |  /.|__|  ||  \___\_____/                     xXXXXXXXXx XXXXxXx
               \/ .|=>|  |/   /   o|  \
    T H E R E
    

**From:** gonehunting@demoncustomer.net

**Subject:** Re: How to Give 11-Year-Old Daughter 'Girl Advice'?!

**To:** listserv@listserv.parentsoftweensconnect.com

Thank you for your kind words, Amy, 

Unfortunately I don’t know any way to discipline her other than talking to her or taking away her Game Boy in extreme cases. I was hoping for some practical strategies to try.

As I type this, she’s currently got her bedroom door locked and some loud music blasting. It’s bothering me, so I’m sure it’s also bothering the neighbors, but I’m completely lost as to how to handle this. Any advice? 

Desperately,  
Robert

**From:** kendra@parentsoftweensconnect.com

**Subject:** Re: How to Give 11-Year-Old Daughter 'Girl Advice'?!

**To:** listserv@listserv.parentsoftweensconnect.com

Hi, Robert,

That sounds incredibly frustrating. I don’t normally suggest this as a first step, but since she’s being so defiant, I think you would be completely justified in removing her bedroom door from its hinges and taking away her stereo until she’s ready to use them both properly. I had to do something similar with my oldest, and it was such a shock not only to him, but also to his younger sister that neither one of them has gotten too bad since! Let Julia know that you are the adult and that she must follow the house expectations to enjoy the full privileges of living there.

Kendra  
\---------------------------------------------------------------  
**Unless otherwise stated, all opinions in this email are mine, not ParentsofTweensConnect.com**

**From:** gonehunting@demoncustomer.net

**Subject:** Re: How to Give 11-Year-Old Daughter 'Girl Advice'?!

**To:** listserv@listserv.parentsoftweensconnect.com

Thank you, Kendra.

I admit I’m tempted to do exactly that. But won’t it be inappropriate for her to change without a door to close? That’s my only concern. Being a single father who doesn't regularly talk to other parents makes it hard to know what's appropriate. I don't want to cause her psychological damage she'll need years of therapy to get past. 

I thought I was doing a good job raising her. I don't know what I did wrong to have her turn out so rude and disrespectful. I don't want her to grow up to be a 'bad person,' like she keeps saying she intends to be. Maybe she's right and I should have disciplined her more when she was younger, but it didn't seem like she needed it then. Maybe she did and I was too busy with my work to notice. I hope I can still fix it.

Robert

**From:** mummyof5arseholekids@demoncustomer.net

**Subject:** Re: How to Give 11-Year-Old Daughter 'Girl Advice'?!

**To:** listserv@listserv.parentsoftweensconnect.com

Heya, Robert! Good to hear from you again. Sounds like a lot of ups and downs with Julia. Don't take it personally. Tweens are tough, I'd say tougher than teens based on my experience so far! Their hormones are all over the place and it's also new to them, whereas teens are more used to it. Their brains are changing fast like when they were babies, and you shouldn't blame yourself for their crazy behavior any more than you should've when they were toddlers shouting their heads off because they were overtired and didn't want to sleep.

I think Kendra is right and you should take the door right off its hinges. Or another thing you can do is grab a pair of pyjamas and anything else critical like school books, and then put a lock on her door so she can’t get in her room for a few days or even longer if her behavior doesn't improve. Much less work on your part than taking off the door, and even more of a shock to her! Tweens hate having all their stuff taken away, of course, but they hate not being allowed to hide in their rooms even more! 

Good luck, Susan xoxo

_.-=-._.-=-._.-=-._.-=-._.-=-._.-=-._.-=-._.-=-._.-=-._.-=-._.-=-.  
Mum to Chris (14), Lisa (13), Mike (11), Sarah (8), & Gemma (6)

**From:** kendra@parentsoftweensconnect.com

**Subject:** Re: How to Give 11-Year-Old Daughter 'Girl Advice'?!

**To:** listserv@listserv.parentsoftweensconnect.com

Hi, Robert,

She can take her clothes with her and change in the bathroom. I wouldn’t find anything inappropriate about that as a parent. Taking the door off is a lot more common than you might think, and the kids come out just fine, without any lasting psychological damage.

Kendra  
\---------------------------------------------------------------  
**Unless otherwise stated, all opinions in this email are mine, not ParentsofTweensConnect.com**

**From:** gonehunting@demoncustomer.net

**Subject:** Re: How to Give 11-Year-Old Daughter 'Girl Advice'?!

**To:** listserv@listserv.parentsoftweensconnect.com

Thank you, Kendra and Susan.

I bought a lock and am going to install it in a little bit. I will let you know how it goes.

Robert

**From:** gonehunting@demoncustomer.net

**Subject:** Re: How to Give 11-Year-Old Daughter 'Girl Advice'?! Update

**To:** listserv@listserv.parentsoftweensconnect.com

I installed the lock, and she's taking it very badly. She has locked herself in the bathroom and says she plans to sleep in the bathtub. Should I take the door off that as well? I'm exhausted and I don't know what to do with her.

Robert

**From:** kendra@parentsoftweensconnect.com

**Subject:** Re: How to Give 11-Year-Old Daughter 'Girl Advice'?! Update

**To:** listserv@listserv.parentsoftweensconnect.com

Oh dear. I doubt she'll actually sleep in the tub, but some kids are stubborn enough she just might. I don't think it will hurt anything if she sleeps there, as that sounds incredibly uncomfortable. She'll probably come around and be happy to sleep on the sofa tomorrow night.

Kendra  
\---------------------------------------------------------------  
**Unless otherwise stated, all opinions in this email are mine, not ParentsofTweensConnect.com**

**From:** mummyof5arseholekids@demoncustomer.net

**Subject:** Re: How to Give 11-Year-Old Daughter 'Girl Advice'?! Update

**To:** listserv@listserv.parentsoftweensconnect.com

Isn't parenting so rewarding?! HA! Sorry she's being such a brat. Just remember, you've got to keep the pressure on her and not give in until she remembers you're the one in charge. As much of a pain as it is to stay firm, I swear it's way easier to win the first power struggle than it is to give in from exhaustion and have to fight the same battle later when the little arsehole thinks they can wear you down.

This is pretty mean, but I reckon she's earned it at this point. Here's what I'd do if one of my own arseholes was pulling this shit. I'd buy another lock and a pack of nappies, pop open the bathroom door with a knife or credit card, drag her out of the bathroom if you can lift her, put another lock on the bathroom door, and tell her she's lost her toilet privileges too now. Tell her if she wants to throw tantrums like a little baby, you're going to treat her like one! Put one of the nappies on her or make her do it, but make sure she really does it. Then tell her if she wants to use the toilet at the house, she has to do everything on a big list of chores to get that privilege back, especially things like painting the walls or doorframe she damaged with all the slamming. A kid like Julia who's normally good might be so devastated she shapes up right away. But I'm a mean mum and I wouldn't take the chance, so I'd make sure the chores take long enough she has to wet the nappy just to make sure she never pulls anything like this again. I might even say she's lost her toilet privileges for 24 hours or whatnot just to make sure she really gets the message. Either way, putting another lock on the bathroom door means you still get your privacy and it will probably be loads more effective in changing her attitude! 

xoxo Susan

_.-=-._.-=-._.-=-._.-=-._.-=-._.-=-._.-=-._.-=-._.-=-._.-=-._.-=-.  
Mum to Chris (14), Lisa (13), Mike (11), Sarah (8), & Gemma (6)

**From:** gonehunting@demoncustomer.net

**Subject:** Re: How to Give 11-Year-Old Daughter 'Girl Advice'?! Update

**To:** listserv@listserv.parentsoftweensconnect.com

Susan, I've got to be honest, that seems a little cruel. But I know it would be a lot crueler in the long run to let her go on acting like this. I've been real shaken up by the idea of her acting like this as an adult. Times like these are when I wish more than anything my wife were still around, but I know I've got to figure this out on my own. If this is what it takes to make sure she grows up properly, I guess I'll do it. I just can't stop picturing her talking about this in therapy a few years down the road.

Robert

**From:** kendra@parentsoftweensconnect.com

**Subject:** Re: How to Give 11-Year-Old Daughter 'Girl Advice'?! Update

**To:** listserv@listserv.parentsoftweensconnect.com

Good luck, Robert.

I'm not sure I could go through with Susan's recommendation, personally, but I acknowledge I'm lucky that I've never had to make that call! It is going to be pretty drastic and humiliating for her, but you might find that just putting the lock on the door and threatening her with the diapers gets her back on track. Even if you go through with the entire plan, I don't think it would be considered abusive or anything like that, if that puts your mind at ease any.

Parenting is all about doing the best we can. Most of our children will probably complain about us in therapy someday. I try to treat my kids with respect, but they need guidance, and sometimes you do have to be cruel to be kind (and keep them from growing up to be criminals or what have you). You need to do what you feel is best for you and Julia, whether that means letting her cry it out in the tub all night or putting her in diapers again until she can act her age. You've known her for her entire life, so I think you should trust your judgment.

Kendra  
\---------------------------------------------------------------  
**Unless otherwise stated, all opinions in this email are mine, not ParentsofTweensConnect.com**

**From:** gonehunting@demoncustomer.net

**Subject:** Re: How to Give 11-Year-Old Daughter 'Girl Advice'?! Another update

**To:** listserv@listserv.parentsoftweensconnect.com

Well, I've done it. I unlocked the bathroom door and put a lock on it, and Julia is in nappies again. I tried to make her do it herself, but she refused, so I tried to be as quick as possible and not look any more than necessary while I put it on her myself. She shouted at me the whole time, things like, 'No, Dad, please, anything but that! Just smack me instead! Please just smack me like other dads do to their kids! Not this, anything but this, please, Dad!' I told her she should have made better choices and acted her age if she didn't want to be treated like a baby. I also told her if she took off the nappy, I'd make her use the front yard in front of the neighbors, and so far she's kept the nappy on, thank Christ. I was afraid she'd call my bluff!

I know this is what she needs, but I feel like absolute shit. She's currently halfway through her chores, and she's sobbing and holding herself in the kitchen while she does the dishes. She keeps crying, 'Please, Dad, I can't hold it! Daddy, please let me use the toilet! I promise I'll never be bad again if you just let me use the toilet! I don't want to use the nappy, Daddy, please, I'm really sorry! I won't do anything like that again, I promise!' I told her I believed her, but I was going to keep my word about the punishment to make damn sure she didn't. She keeps begging, but I'm ignoring her so I don't get tempted to bargain with her. It's so hard to listen to her pleading and whimpering, especially when she sounds so distressed when she's saying, 'Oh, God, it's coming out and I can't stop it! Daddy, please!' but I'm going to stay strong and not give in no matter how much it hurts me. I know she's a good girl at heart, and I'm going to do whatever it takes to help her be good.

Thank you everyone for the advice. I really hope it works.

Robert


	4. Chapter 4

**From:** gonehunting@demoncustomer.net

**Subject:** MY DAUGHTER LIKES WEARING NAPPIES?! HELP?!?!?! 

**To:** listserv@listserv.parentsoftweensconnect.com

Hello again,

I think my attempt at disciplining my daughter yesterday may have backfired. She was very upset when I first put her in nappies for slamming doors and otherwise acting like a 2 year old. Then she had a total breakdown when she finally lost control and wet in it, but she responded well to me hugging her and offering to help her finish her chores so she could get changed. She was subdued after that, but I didn’t complain about it as she changed her own nappy, put on her pyjamas, and did her schoolwork without having to be told. She asked if she could sleep in my bed instead of on the sofa, and I said yes since she was behaving. So far so good!

She woke up this morning in a decent mood, maybe a bit subdued still, but agreeable enough. I told her we were going to spend our Sunday morning baking something nice for the girl she was rude to and take it to her house, and Julia lost her damn mind! She tried to throw all the flour, eggs, and milk into the bin, and then she hid all the measuring cups in the house while I was getting everything back out. When I went to go talk to her, she said she wanted to wear nappies all the time from now on, because she found them ‘totally comfortable and convenient’ and she thanked me for buying them for her!

I think she was just trying to use reverse psychology to get out of wearing them, because she said, ‘Sorry the nappies aren’t more of a punishment for me, Dad. I suppose you’ll have to punish me some other way since I like nappies so much. It’s basically a reward to get to wear them!’ Mind, I wasn’t even going to make her wear a nappy outside the house, but maybe she thought that was what I had planned?

Even if she’s bluffing, I’m not sure what to do about it. I can hear her in the kitchen right now, humming cheerfully while she takes all the baking tins out to hide them. What should I do?! 

Baffled,  
Robert

**From:** mummyof5arseholekids@demoncustomer.net

**Subject:** Re: MY DAUGHTER LIKES WEARING NAPPIES?! HELP?!?!?!

**To:** listserv@listserv.parentsoftweensconnect.com

She’s definately bluffing. I think the best thing to do is call her bluff and keep her wearing the nappies as long as she’s being a brat. When she says she likes them, tell her you're proud of her for having such a positive attitude about her punishment. This sounds like a classic power struggle, but I promise you can totally outlast her. Maybe she needs a good dose of castor oil and a long walk around some public place she’s likely to meet friends from school! Or maybe you should take some blackmail photos of her wearing a nappy and drinking out of a child’s cup! Whatever you do, don’t give in and let her out of the nappies until she earns it! 

Good luck, Susan xoxo

_.-=-._.-=-._.-=-._.-=-._.-=-._.-=-._.-=-._.-=-._.-=-._.-=-._.-=-.  
Mum to Chris (14), Lisa (13), Mike (11), Sarah (8), & Gemma (6)

**From:** gonehunting@demoncustomer.net

**Subject:** Re: MY DAUGHTER LIKES WEARING NAPPIES?! HELP?!?!?!

**To:** listserv@listserv.parentsoftweensconnect.com

Susan,

Well, Julia took care of the blackmail photographs herself. She grabbed my camera and wasted most of a roll of film taking pictures of herself in just the nappy. When I took the camera from her, she tried to insist I develop the photos in our dark room because ‘these nappies are so cute and comfortable! We should put them in the family photo album! It would be a real laugh to show all my friends!' I know she’s lying, but I don’t know what to do about it. I can’t exactly call her bluff with the photographs, lest everyone think I’m some sort of pervert.

She’s currently refusing to wear anything other than the nappy or eat what I made for lunch. She’s demanding I give her a bottle of milk and read aloud from her favorite books from when she was little. I was uncomfortable with her being mostly naked, even though she’s barely more developed than when she was really in nappies, so luckily I convinced her to cover up a bit with her old baby blanket. I turned on the silliest child's programme I could find on the television so I could get a few minutes to check my email. 

I’m not sure about the castor oil, either. My mother used to give it to me, but I don’t do most of the things my mother did to me. And to tell you the truth, I really don’t want to have to change dirty nappies! I wouldn’t normally describe Julia as stubborn, but she can be... let’s say ‘committed’ to things she feels strongly about. I’m afraid to find out how committed she is to this baby thing! 

Is it time to consult a child psychologist, or is this normal behaviour?! I’m terrified of messing my kid up for life.

Robert

**From:** mummyof5arseholekids@demoncustomer.net

**Subject:** Re: MY DAUGHTER LIKES WEARING NAPPIES?! HELP?!?!?!

**To:** listserv@listserv.parentsoftweensconnect.com

You won’t have to change her nappy, I promise. I’m mostly sure she’ll break and start cooperating before she actually messes her diaper. But on the off chance she really goes that far, I’m 100% sure she won’t let you change her! Just make her clean herself up and put herself in another nappy until she’s ready to behave. If she refuses, you can threaten to hose her down in front of the neighbors, LOL. 

Good luck, Susan

_.-=-._.-=-._.-=-._.-=-._.-=-._.-=-._.-=-._.-=-._.-=-._.-=-._.-=-.  
Mum to Chris (14), Lisa (13), Mike (11), Sarah (8), & Gemma (6)

**From:** jennifer@parentsoftweensconnect.com

**Subject:** Re: MY DAUGHTER LIKES WEARING NAPPIES?! HELP?!?!?!

**To:** listserv@listserv.parentsoftweensconnect.com

Hi, Robert, 

First of all, welcome to the mailing list! I've been following your emails, but I haven't had a chance to respond due to prepping for my youngest's bat mitzvah. It sounds like your daughter is really trying to push your boundaries. I always joke that the tween years feel like a shoddy remake of the Terrible Twos, but I guess I should have clarified that these hormonal little nutjobs weren’t supposed to take that literally! :-)

As a licensed child psychologist, I can't assess anyone over the internet, but I _can_ tell you that the behavior you're describing is less irrational and uncommon than it might feel. Puberty can be an upsetting, difficult, and frightening experience—and not just for us parents. This is especially true if the child was mostly or completely unaware of the details until it started happening to them. Although most tweens respond by demanding to be treated more like adults, it's not unheard of for the opposite to happen. Infancy and early childhood are familiar, whereas adulthood is a terrifying unknown. Not to mention, adulthood comes with an increasing amount of stress, responsibility, and decision-making. Don't we all wish sometimes we could go back to simpler days, when someone fed us and bathed us and gave us no choice but to take naps?

Given how recently Julia both a. learned about puberty and b. started her period, my professional guess would be that she's feeling scared and overwhelmed about growing up. "Being an adult" has always been an abstract concept for her until now, but it may suddenly feel like it's happening overnight from her perspective. She also seems to be undergoing rapid moral development, or at least questioning what makes someone a truly good or bad person. Her fixation on being disciplined so she can be a good person is one I haven't encountered often, and definitely not in an 11-year-old, but it fits with the other ways she's regressing. Again, adulthood means carrying the full responsibility for our actions. That's enough to terrify anyone, but especially a self-aware tween trying to reconcile her sudden, newfound “adulthood” with her need to spend a few more years growing and making mistakes.

The next time you go to the library, I would highly recommend you check out _Stages of Moral Development_ by Lawrence Kohlberg (1958). In fact, Julia sounds precocious enough that it might be the perfect father-daughter book for you two to read together right now. I think it will illuminate a lot of the issues Julia is fixated on and confused about.

On a more practical note, I don't believe there's anything unhealthy about allowing a tween to regress for a while if they feel they need to. I generally tell parents who come to my practice to treat the child 100% like a baby while the child requests it. Once the novelty wears off, tweens quickly realize there are benefits to growing up, such as not having to eat baby food, wear what Mom or Dad picks out, or go to bed at 7 p.m. Give her the security of being a baby again, but make it as unappealing as it was in reality.

Please feel free to email the list any time! We're all in the same boat, so there's no judgement here. Tweens can be completely nuts! In fact, my oldest was so nuts, she inspired me to start this website and mailing list. Take care!

**Jennifer Goldstein  
Ph.D., Child Psychology  
Founder of ParentsofTweensConnect.com**

**From:** gonehunting@demoncustomer.net

**Subject:** Re: MY DAUGHTER LIKES WEARING NAPPIES?! HELP?!?!?!

**To:** listserv@listserv.parentsoftweensconnect.com

Dear Jennifer,

Thank you for that thorough and thoughtful email. You put my mind right at ease about Julia’s behaviour. Your theories made a lot of sense, and they were also so simple and logical I was kicking myself for not thinking of them. I’ll check that book out from our library next time we go. I appreciate your help and will update you all in a bit. 

Robert

**From:** gonehunting@demoncustomer.net

**Subject:** Update on my 11-year-old daughter

**To:** listserv@listserv.parentsoftweensconnect.com

Dear Jennifer and All,

Thank you again for your good advice. It’s been nearly a week, and Julia has been much easier to manage. Granted, she’s spent the whole week pretending to be a baby, but your advice helped me handle it properly. If not for the good advice on this list, I'm sure I would have panicked and rushed her to a psychologist. Instead, we've had a nice, calm week. We even managed to bond and have fun together once I got her old toys out of the attic. I would highly recommend still playing things like LEGO with your tween, even if he or she isn't acting like a baby! 

I’ve enjoyed the other babying aspects more than I probably should have. Every time I tickled her or fed her baby food or a bottle of milk, I got to relive the good times with baby Julia and her mother. But more than that, it’s just been so damn nice to get a break from the pre-teen eye-rolling and attitude. Every time she started to get defiant, I quickly said, ‘No, no, Julia, babies don’t roll their eyes! They have tantrums! Go lie on the floor and scream and kick and wet your nappy like a proper baby if you want to complain!’ She thought it was a huge laugh the first three or four times, but then she got bored with it, just as you said she would. She also got bored of taking naps and eating mashed vegetables, for sure. 

For the record, no, thankfully, I did not have to change any dirty nappies. You were right, Susan: even as committed as she got, that seemed to be a line she couldn't bring herself to cross. (Thank God.) Apparently it was enough to make her ask permission and keep the door open 'for safety reasons' when using the toilet or take a bath. Funnily enough, she didn't whinge a single word about keeping the door open! I suppose she was too relieved for a bit of 'mercy' to push her luck. 

All that to say, it's been a decent week, and I feel like we’ve finally made a breakthrough as of this morning. She threw another tantrum last night over having to go to bed so early, but like usual, I just carried her to my bed and left her there to shout herself to sleep. A few minutes later, she poked her head out of the room and said, 'Dad, I got out of the bed. Are you going to smack me for being bad?' I laughed and told her no, I would never smack a baby, and she just sighed and went back to bed.

Then this morning, she woke me up by cuddling me and kissing my cheek. When I said, 'Good morning, Baby Julia!' she pouted and said, 'Dad, I'm so tired of being treated like a baby. Can I please be my real age again as long as I'm good?' Finally!!! I was slightly worried about how long she'd go on like this, but I think making the baby thing as unappealing as possible was great advice.

I told her I'd permanently unlock the bathroom door if she made us some breakfast without complaining. And she did! Nothing too complicated, but she seemed to enjoy cooking for the two of us. I told her how nice it was to have her grown up again, and she teased me, 'Yes, almost grown up enough to be someone's wife, don't you think?' I laughed and said, 'Not quite, luckily for me. I get to have you all to myself for a few more years!' Knowing she had a few years left to grow up seemed to make her rather happy, so I imagine Jennifer was right about her feeling afraid to grow up.

We finally got to discuss that Kohlberg book over breakfast, and no surprise, she understood it way better than I did. It was the best feeling ever to have a real conversation with Julia after so long having friction or baby talk. And true to my word, I unlocked the bathroom door and even her bedroom door and let her act her age again. She's been great today. I really hope she keeps it up. Thanks again for all your help, everyone. Keep your fingers crossed for us!

Robert


	5. Chapter 5

**From:** gonehunting@demoncustomer.net

**Subject:** 11-year-old says I don't love/discipline her enough?

**To:** listserv@listserv.parentsoftweensconnect.com

Hello Again,

I'm ashamed to be back again just a few weeks after giving you all a positive update. Julia has been mostly well-behaved since then. That's not the problem. The problem is that she's seemed so down lately. 

I finally asked her what was wrong, and she said it makes her feel unloved that I don't discipline her often or meanly enough?! Has anyone else ever heard this from their kid?! She hasn't even been doing anything to warrant being disciplined lately. A slight amount of complaining, but no swearing or overt rudeness.

What the hell does this child need from me?! How does she want to be disciplined?! I've tried everything I know and then some! Please help!

Baffled Again,  
Robert

**From:** jennifer@parentsoftweensconnect.com

**Subject:** Re: 11-year-old says I don't love/discipline her enough?

**To:** listserv@listserv.parentsoftweensconnect.com

Hi again, Robert! 

You might have already tried this, or it might not work if you do, but have you tried _asking her what kind of discipline she needs?_ From what you said before, she's an articulate and self-aware tween. I have a hunch the problem is that she's too shy to tell you what she wants—not that she doesn't know herself.

**Jennifer Goldstein  
Ph.D., Child Psychology  
Founder of ParentsofTweensConnect.com**

**From:** gonehunting@demoncustomer.net

**Subject:** Should I Smack My 11-Year-Old?!

**To:** listserv@listserv.parentsoftweensconnect.com

Jennifer,

Well, I'll be. I sat her down and said, 'Julia, your old Dad is not a mind-reader. I need you to stop hinting and tell me exactly what kind of discipline you need from me' but I honestly wasn't expecting much. To my surprise, she said, 'I want you to discipline me like your mum disciplined you'. I didn't know if I was comfortable with that or not, but I said, 'All right, if you're sure. I'll start disciplining you that way.'

She smarted off at me a few minutes later about having to eat sprouts. I started to explain my rationale for cooking sprouts, but then I remembered what she wanted. So I took her by the scruff of her shirt to the bathroom and wiped a bar of soap through her mouth. I told her she was lucky, that my mum used to put the soap up my other end and then smack me until I couldn't sit for a week. She turned red at that, but all she said was, ‘Well, you turned all right, didn’t you? Maybe you ought to smack me so I turn out all right, too.’ I didn’t know what to say to that, so I just said I didn't feel like it and made her stand in the corner for half an hour and then eat her supper cold. 

I’ve never felt the need to inflict the punishments from my own youth on Julia, because until now I’ve never felt she needed it. I also have no idea if those punishments are still legal and considered safe. Have you ever smacked your pre-teen? Would you smack him or her upon request? Why is my daughter requesting to be smacked, anyway?!

Baffled Again,  
Robert

**From:** thepinkertonstrustno1@aol.com

**Subject:** Re: Should I Smack My 11-Year-Old?!

**To:** listserv@listserv.parentsoftweensconnect.com

Hey Robert!

I'll be honest, I would never advise parents to 'smack' their kids. We personally don't even spank our kids, never have, but we don't judge fellow parents who spank preschoolers with an open hand as long as it's only done as a last resort. Spanking probably has its place, even if it's not for us. But smacking a child on their face would definitely not be okay even for a tween.

Amy 

Melissa & Amy Pinkerton 

* * *

  

    
    
    T H E         ,.__                                       XXXXXxX xxxXXXXXX
                 ((-\)),                                       xXX      xXX
                 | . . {         ___.                            X      XX
    T R U T H    (  _) )       /(()-/)                            X   xX
                  \ _ /       / /. . |\                            xx xX
                __-\_/-__     ||  ]  )|        T  H  E   (X)   F  I  L  E  S
    I S        / \ \@//  \    /|  -  ||                            xX xx
              |  | |{||__|\   /_\___/|,                           Xx   Xx
              |  | |}||  ||  |    \/   \                         XX     XX   TM
    O U T     |  {.|{/|  ||  | |_| __| |                       xXX       XX
              |  /.|__|  ||  \___\_____/                     xXXXXXXXXx XXXXxXx
               \/ .|=>|  |/   /   o|  \
    T H E R E
    

**From:** gonehunting@demoncustomer.net

**Subject:** Re: Update: Should I Smack My 11-Year-Old?!

**To:** listserv@listserv.parentsoftweensconnect.com

Hello Amy,

I'm confused by your email. Are you in the states, by chance? In London at least, 'smacking' means hitting a child on their bottom. 'Spanking' is a whole different thing that would not be child appropriate!

I don't have any desire to hit Julia at all, but in this case it wouldn't be on her face. She wants me to hit her on the bottom, I guess using (if it's like my mother did it) my hand or a switch or a belt. 

I don't have strong feelings about corporal punishment. I just never did it because Julia never seemed to need it. Should I do it now that she's asked me to?

Robert

**From:** thepinkertonstrustno1@aol.com

**Subject:** Re: Should I Smack My 11-Year-Old?!

**To:** listserv@listserv.parentsoftweensconnect.com

Oh, yeah, that makes sense! I honestly have no idea what I'd say if one of my kids asked me to spank them, but I'd probably tell them no in the end. I wouldn't feel good about hurting my kids, even if they asked for it.

Amy 

Melissa & Amy Pinkerton 

* * *

  

    
    
    T H E         ,.__                                       XXXXXxX xxxXXXXXX
                 ((-\)),                                       xXX      xXX
                 | . . {         ___.                            X      XX
    T R U T H    (  _) )       /(()-/)                            X   xX
                  \ _ /       / /. . |\                            xx xX
                __-\_/-__     ||  ]  )|        T  H  E   (X)   F  I  L  E  S
    I S        / \ \@//  \    /|  -  ||                            xX xx
              |  | |{||__|\   /_\___/|,                           Xx   Xx
              |  | |}||  ||  |    \/   \                         XX     XX   TM
    O U T     |  {.|{/|  ||  | |_| __| |                       xXX       XX
              |  /.|__|  ||  \___\_____/                     xXXXXXXXXx XXXXxXx
               \/ .|=>|  |/   /   o|  \
    T H E R E
    

**From:** mummyof5arseholekids@demoncustomer.net

**Subject:** Re: Update: Should I Smack My 11-Year-Old?!

**To:** listserv@listserv.parentsoftweensconnect.com

Honestly, why shouldn't you smack her, even if she doesn't want it? I grew up getting my father's belt, and my kids have grown up getting smacked with my hand, and I think we're all better for it. We rarely smack the bigger ones now, but we still threaten to on occasion! It can be pretty effective, as long as they're not asking for it to get out of trouble faster than losing something fun for a month.

I vote you just smack her and be done with it. Doesn't sound like she'll be bothered, but maybe she'll get the attention she needs and stop being defiant or upset.

xoxo Susan

_.-=-._.-=-._.-=-._.-=-._.-=-._.-=-._.-=-._.-=-._.-=-._.-=-._.-=-.  
Mum to Chris (14), Lisa (13), Mike (11), Sarah (8), & Gemma (6)

**From:** kendra@parentsoftweensconnect.com

**Subject:** Re: Should I Smack My 11-Year-Old?! MOD NOTE

**To:** listserv@listserv.parentsoftweensconnect.com

MODERATOR NOTE:

**Please remember that debates about corporal punishment are not allowed on this mailing list, per our community rules (http://parentsoftweensconnect.com/mailinglist/rules). **

The community rules state that all parents are welcome without being shamed. Anything other than obvious abuse should be discussed in terms of its effectiveness, not its morality. **This includes spanking (or 'smacking,' depending on where you live).** Obvious abuse (such as burning a child) should not be shamed either, but rather should be reported to the moderators so we can contact the authorities. 

Thank you,

Kendra  
\---------------------------------------------------------------  
**Unless otherwise stated, all opinions in this email are mine, not ParentsofTweensConnect.com**

**From:** jennifer@parentsoftweensconnect.com

**Subject:** Re: Should I Smack My 11-Year-Old?!

**To:** listserv@listserv.parentsoftweensconnect.com

Robert, 

As you may have noticed from the flooded inbox, people have some strong feelings about this topic!

I don't recommend spanking, especially not for tweens, but that’s mostly because it’s extremely ineffective—and in some cases, harmful. When I learn a child has requested spankings, I always ask them why. Pleasure? Attention? Curiosity? Absolution? Like Susan pointed out, often they just want a quick alternative to a longer discipline, such as grounding. And in that case, I agree that the grounding is more effective. It gets more complicated with the other reasons, though.

From what you've said so far, I think asking Julia directly is always going to be your best policy. If she’s feeling guilty over something, this might be a chance for her to come clean about it, not to mention find a better way to clear her conscience than physical pain. If it's something else, you'll have to update us or use your best judgement in handling it. Best of luck! 

**Jennifer Goldstein  
Ph.D., Child Psychology  
Founder of ParentsofTweensConnect.com**

**From:** gonehunting@demoncustomer.net

**Subject:** Re: Should I Smack My 11-Year-Old?!

**To:** listserv@listserv.parentsoftweensconnect.com

Thank you again, Jennifer & everyone,

I will ask her why she wants to be smacked so badly. Thanks for the suggestion! 

Robert


	6. Chapter 6

“Julia!” Robert called from the bottom of the stairs. “Come down here, please. I want to talk to you.”

Julia bounded down the stairs with a youthful grace that made it look like she was flying. She leapt over the last stair and landed, cat-like, in front of Robert, looking up at him with a silly, self-satisfied expression on her face.

“So fast,” he praised her, and he couldn't help smiling back as well when she beamed at him. “Let’s go to the sitting room. I had a question about something you said.”

Julia quickly scowled, as if she’d only just remembered she was supposed to be cross with him. Still, when Robert put his arm around her shoulders, she fell into his side and nuzzled her head into his ribs like she normally did.

Once in the sitting room, Robert sat Julia down on the sofa and prowled back and forth in front of her, growing more anxious by the second. This was ridiculous, he thought. He could kill a new stranger every few weeks, but he was terrified to ask his pre-teen daughter a single question? Maybe it was better to yank the plaster off quickly.

“Why do you want to be smacked so badly?” Robert asked abruptly.

Julia opened her mouth, but Robert stopped her.

“And please, Julia, no more BS about becoming a good person. You know that Kohlberg fellow’s book forward and back, and you know a smacking isn’t going to make you a better person. So why don’t you tell the truth for once? I won’t be angry, I promise.”

“I… I dunno, Dad.” Julia squirmed under his gaze and focused intently on her fidgeting feet.

“If you’re feeling guilty about something, you should tell your dad,” Robert said. “And it’s not healthy to deal with guilt by hurting yourself physically. If that’s what this is about—”

“It’s not!” Julia said quickly. “I’m just… isn’t it all right to be curious about things anymore?” 

“What sort of curious?” Robert asked. “And what sort of things?”

“I’m just curious what it feels like! All my friends get smacked or whipped. I feel like I’m missing out on this huge life experience, and I just want to know what it feels like to get smacked by a parent. That’s all.”

“If all your friends’ parents were pushing them off bridges, would you want me to push you off a bridge as well?” Robert asked.

“Dad!” Julia rolled her eyes. “Don’t be ridiculous. I just want to know what it feels like. I asked my friends to show me, but they’re not as strong as you, so it didn’t hurt properly.”

Robert twitched uncomfortably in his trousers at the idea of his daughter’s developing friends pulling down Julia’s underwear and smacking her bottom until it was red. God, _ was _he some sort of pervert?! To think about children like that—No, no. If anyone was perverted, it was Julia's friends. He blew out a deep breath. His traitorous body simply wasn’t used to Julia doing grown-up things yet.

“That’s extremely inappropriate, Julia,” he lectured her to hide his own embarrassment. “You shouldn’t be asking your friends to do things like that with you. If their parents found out—”

“Ooh, Dad, I’ve made you turn pink!” Julia said triumphantly. Then she turned coy, her face smoothing into an expression of faux-innocence. “Have I embarrassed you, Daddy? Maybe I shouldn’t tell you that I’m going to ask the boys in my class to try next?”

This was blackmail, pure blackmail! Robert sputtered, trying to think of the right words to say.

“Go to your room!” was all he could manage. “Up! Now!”

Julia glared at him and scowled again, but she leapt up from the couch and went to her room anyway. As soon as she was out of sight, Robert locked himself in the bathroom and took his traitorous problem in hand. He needed a clear head to handle this.

* * *

It took Robert an hour to formulate his plan, most of which he did while collecting the tools he’d need and carving a thick soapstick from a fresh bar. He was fairly certain Julia’s curiosity explanation was rubbish, but on the off chance she was telling the truth, he planned to give her eleven swats from his hand over the seat of her trousers. If it was due to a guilty conscience, he’d give her eleven swats from his belt over her trousers, and then he’d make her write him an essay on Kohlberg’s book or something. 

And if, like he suspected, this was all some sort of sexual thing, well… Robert swallowed hard. He couldn’t think too much about that, lest he influence Julia somehow. But he had a few ideas for that scenario, too. He dropped the tapered soapstick into the little bowl of warm water, rinsed and closed his knife, and went to Julia’s room. 

He forgot to knock before pushing the door open, prompting Julia to yelp. She was already in her pyjamas, the pink ones with playful little kittens on them. She was reading her favorite old-fashioned parenting book with one hand under the blankets. She quickly yanked her hand out from under the covers and slammed the book, her face as pink as her pyjamas.

“Oh my god, Dad! You have to knock before you come in!” she shouted at him. “What if I’d been undressing?”

“Sorry, Julia.” He sat on her bed and took the heavy book from her, setting it aside. “I wanted to finish our talk.”

Her breathing caught, all traces of anger gone, and she shifted in the bed. “What—what do you want to talk about, exactly?”

“Well, I was wondering how you think you might like to be smacked,” Robert said in the casual way he’d so carefully rehearsed._ “If _I were to smack you, just as a ‘what-if,’ would you want me to do it over your clothes? I imagine most of your friends’ fathers do it that way. Since you want the full experience, I expect you’d want to keep your knickers on, wouldn’t you?”

“Oh, no, Dad,” Julia breathed, scooting a little closer to him in her bed. “I’ve been so bad lately! I know I’ve given you plenty of headaches. I ought to experience my punishment properly. Maybe you ought to punish me exactly the way your mum used to punish you when you were my age.”

“No, I wouldn’t do that to you,” Robert assured her. “You wouldn’t want that, I promise. It was nasty and embarrassing. Not to mention painful.”

“Oh! I—” Julia cleared her throat. “I really wouldn’t mind that, Dad! I promise. I think you ought to punish me hard so I get the full experience.”

“Should I use my belt on you then? I was only going to use my hand...”

Julia trembled so violently with excitement Robert could feel the bed vibrating. “Oh, well, I mean, er, I’ve never had either, so... since this is to assuage my curiosity, maybe you could do it both ways?” 

She gave him a bright, innocent little smile. Robert saw right through her—and simultaneously fell in love with her all over again. He took her soft, smooth face in his hands and kissed her forehead. For a moment, she was still no bigger than his arm, all snuggled up in her little white hospital blanket.

“So you're saying I should pull your knickers down and smack you with not only my hand, but also my belt?” he asked in a low, incredulous voice. “Is that really what you want me to do, Julia?”

Julia made a little whimpering noise and nodded vigorously. Robert, meanwhile, had nearly lost the battle to keep himself soft. He really needed to stop encouraging his daughter before she did something dangeorous. But he couldn't help himself. He leaned into her space, taking a deep breath in as he did. Julia swallowed nervously but kept her eyes locked on his. He knew she knew he could smell her arousal, even though neither of them said a word about it.

Julia was the one who finally spoke up. “Are you really going to do it?”

“I haven’t decided yet,” Robert lied. “I’ve been doing some reading, and a lot of experts say smacking is useless at best and abusive at worst. Maybe I shouldn’t smack you at all.”

“Oh, fuck you!” Julia suddenly spat in his face. “And fuck the experts! I bet Mum would have smacked me. She was a proper bitch, wasn't she?"

She slapped his cheek, and Robert reacted out of pure instinct—instinct honed by years on the police force followed by years as a serial killer. He grabbed Julia by the wrist and yanked her forward, making her tumble over the top of her bed covers. She landed sprawled over his lap, the wind knocked out of her.

“Apologize,” Robert growled.

Julia just coughed and elbowed him.

“Apologize to your mother, or you'll regret it,” Robert repeated.

“She’s _ dead,” _Julia choked out. “What does she care? Especially if you won't even smack me to teach me manners?” 

"You'll regret asking for this." Robert yanked Julia’s pyjamas and underwear down, filling the room with her intoxicating scent that kept morphing from honey to musk to salt air and back again. He growled again and pinned her to his lap as she kicked her legs.

“Wait, Dad, please!” Julia begged, her voice just a bit too dramatic. “I changed my mind! I’m too embarrassed for you to see me naked!”

“You should have thought of that before disrespecting your mother.” Robert removed the soapstick from bowl of water he'd set on the floor and spread her cheeks open. “Since you're so keen to find out, I'll show you how I learned respect for _my _mother. Hold still.”

Julia shrieked in surprise as the thick, tapered soap cylinder penetrated her anus. She kicked and squirmed in earnest this time. “Oy! What is that?! Holy hell, it burns! Take it out, Dad, please!”

Robert ignored her pleas, the same way he tried to ignore her clenching tight and hot around his finger. He took a shuddering breath, ashamed of how hard he was against Julia’s side, especially as she began to cry.

“Dad, please take it out! Please, it hurts like hell!” 

She tried to push the soap out, but Robert’s finger held it firmly in place.

“I’ll double your number of smackings if you try to push it out again,” he warned, and he instantly realized his mistake even before Julia promptly tried again. “No, scratch that. If the soap comes out of your bum, I’ll make you suck it completely clean before putting it right back up here." He wiggled his finger threateningly, and not at all as an excuse to explore her body. "It's your choice, Julia.”

"Daaaad!" Julia stopped trying to expel the soap and instead sobbed loudly as she went limp. “That's completely disgusting and cruel and unfair! I don’t _ want _stupid punishments like this! I just want you to smack me properly!”

“Then next time, ask for what you want instead of trying to manipulate me,” Robert said sternly. “I want you to promise me we'll have no more of this nonsense. You're too bright a girl to be acting like that.”

"Fine, all right!" Julia wiped her face on her pyjama sleeve. “I promise, Dad.”

“That’s my Julia." He rubbed her lower back. "All right, I’m going to remove my finger now. Remember what I said would happen if the soap comes out.”

He removed his finger, and Julia squeezed around it in panic to keep the soap in.

“Fuck! I think it’s coming out on its own, Dad, help!“

“It’s not coming out, Julia. That's just my finger. Open your mouth.”

With another little whimper, Julia obeyed. Robert wiped his soapy finger on Julia’s tongue, making her spit and gag.

“Yech! Dad! What the hell—?!“

“That’s for disrespecting your mother and spitting on me," Robert said in his most paternal tone, as if his cock weren’t straining his zipper. “And for swearing.”

“Pleh!” Julia wiped her tongue on her sleeve. “Dad! You seriously just had that finger in my bum! I can't believe you put it in my mouth! Pleh, pleh, pleh! Oh, it tastes horrible!”

"I'm sorry I had to do that, Julia." Robert’s cock twitched traitorously at her distress. “I hope it's the last time I have to. Now, are you ready for your experimental punishment?”

Julia immediately fell still, other than her little bottom flexing and relaxing around the stinging soap inside it. “Yes, please, Daddy,” she said sweetly. "I'm ever so grateful that you're indulging me."

Robert scoffed. “We'll see how grateful you are after eleven smacks,” Robert warned, massaging her bottom in preparation.

“Oh, not eleven, Daddy please!” Julia begged, so clearly excited she could barely feign horror.

“Eleven _ with both my hand and belt," _Robert clarified, and he was rewarded with the shudder of pleasure he'd hoped for. “One.”

He slapped her taut cheeks with his bare hand. It made a loud noise but barely stung his palm. Nonetheless, Julia screeched in surprise and nearly jumped off his lap.

“Hold still, please, Julia,” Robert said mildly. “If you don’t, I’ll have to add eleven _ and _start over.”

"Oh, no!" Julia promptly tried to wiggle out of his reach. "Anything but that, Daddy!"

Robert easily pinned her in place and swatted her again, three times in a row. “One, two, three.”

Julia tried to kick him. “No, please don’t, Daddy! It hurts too much! I’m sorry!”

Robert had a vision of her as an adult, bent over some lucky man's lap and saying all the same things. He burned with a jealous, lustful rage that caught him off guard. His next several smacks were the hardest yet; he needed to give her what she needed as much as he needed to punish her for possibly marrying some other man. “One, two, three, four, five—”

Julia managed to free her arms and coverevd her backside. Robert paused just long enough to fold her arms against her back and pin them there with one hand.

“You’re already up to thirty-three smacks apiece,” he warned. “You might want to quit now so your bottom doesn’t—”

“Fuck you!” Julia wailed. “You’re so mean, Dad! I hate you!”

“Do you need the soapstick moved to your mouth after all?” Robert pushed his finger inside her bottom again, and the squeal his action earned him was like a siren song. “No more crude language, Julia. I mean it.”

She was writhing again, but this time, Robert realized, she wasn’t trying to get away. She was trying to fuck herself on his thick finger, squeezing and releasing around him while her fists clenched helplessly against her back. Robert felt a pang of guilt, but not enough to stop him from stretching her perfect little hole with a second finger.

“Wait!” Julia gasped. “That's too much, Dad. I can't take all that!”

“It’s all right, Julia. You’re a big girl. You _can_ take it, I know it.”

"Ohh, no, no..."

Her eyes nearly rolled back in her head. She was furiously grinding her sex against Robert’s thigh, leaving a little wet spot he could feel soaking through his trousers. Everything in him was aching to touch the forbidden, glistening skin just below. He fought the urge to plunge a spare finger into that narrow passage, but he couldn’t stop himself from giving her the lightest of brushes with his thumb.

Julia’s cry was deep and guttural this time. “Dad!”

“Yes, Julia?” he asked innocently.

“You—you touched my front bottom, Dad.”

“Oh, I’m sorry,” Robert said, and he desperately wished he meant it. "I didn't notice."

"It's all right." She was wiggling again, trying to brush herself against his fingers again. "It felt nice, Dad. It didn't bother me. In fact, you could do it again, and it still wouldn't bother me."

“No, no, I would never do that." The decent part of Robert was relieved she was trying to manipulate him again, giving him a perfect excuse not to touch her. His other parts were less thrilled. “That wouldn’t be appropriate, Julia. You’re much too big for that.”

“Well, you could smack me there,” Julia’s whole body matched her pink pyjamas now. Her heat was radiating through Robert’s clothes, nearly as feverish as the heat around his fingers. “Please, Dad, it would be totally fine if that was my punishment.”

“No, Julia.” He pulled his fingers out and wiggled them near her face. "You don't get to change your punishment. Now, this is your only warning to stop whinging, or I'll put my fingers in your mouth again.

Julia gave a desperate sob and rubbed herself against his leg. “Oh, fine! But I really need it, Dad.”

“No, Julia. What you need is a few dozen good, hard smacks on your bottom.” Robert gave her three such smacks as a demonstration. “One, two, three.”

Julia didn’t fight him this time. She just panted harder, eyes shut. “Maybe you're right, Daddy. Thank you."

“That’s my polite little girl.” Robert gave her a quick rub before hitting her again with his hand. “Four, five, six, seven—”

Julia breathed through all her swats like she was running a marathon, and her body tensed at the 32nd blow as if she were about to orgasm. But then Robert landed one last smack and stopped, massaging her flaming bottom, and she gave a frustrated groan.

“Hurry, Dad, and use your belt!” she begged.

“Are you sure your poor bum can take the belt after all that?”

“Yes, Dad, of course! Please stop being such a mother hen and whip me properly.”

Robert chuckled. “If you insist.”

He yanked his belt out of his trousers, careful to avoid rubbing much against his precarious erection. He doubled over his belt and tapped it experimentally against her bottom. He’d never had any cause to practice this, but he had an inkling of how it worked.

“One,” he said, and he slapped the belt down against her skin.

Once again, Julia nearly leapt off his lap in surprise. Robert examined her bottom and found only the lightest of welts, so the second blow was harder. Julia yelped but stayed put.

“Two down, thirty-one to go,” Robert soothed her. He smacked her with his belt three more times, stopping only seconds later when she began wriggling in earnest. “What’s wrong, Julia?” 

“I need to use the toilet,” she admitted.

“You’ll be fine,” Robert told her. “The soap burns like hell, but you shouldn't have an accident if you're careful.”

“No, Dad, it’s not that. My bladder is about to explode.” She squeezed her thighs together. “May I please use the toilet, Dad? I’ll be quick, I promise.”

The memory of her wetting her nappy was almost enough to take Robert over the edge. He forced his voice to stay even.

“No, Julia, I’m sorry. You’ll just have to do your best to hold it.”

She whined in protest, but Robert cut her off by whipping her again with his belt. He delivered the next dozen or so blows at a brisk but steady pace while Julia grew increasingly squirmy.

“Dad, I really can't hold it any longer!" she finally blurted out. "I'm seriously about to piss all over you.”

“Wouldn’t be the first time,” he teased her gently. “It’s all right, Julia. I’m your dad. I won't be upset if you have an accident while being whipped. It would be rather understandable, actually, way I see it.”

He gave her pretty cunt another light, ‘accidental’ stroke and then resumed whipping her. She responded by grinding desperately against his thigh.

“Dad, stop!” Julia cried. “Don’t whip me for just a second, please, or I'm going to—"

Robert cracked his belt over her bottom again, and Julia kicked and twisted as if her life depended on it.

"Oh no, Dad, I'm, I’m going to—“

Rather than pausing, Robert flogged her harder and faster, enchanted by her cries and pleas. Julia finally broke off with a sob as she lost control of her body and convulsed in orgasm. Robert came in his trousers the second the first warm spurts of Julia’s piss soaked his lap.

“I'm sorry," Julia was whispering over and over again as she rode out her orgasm. "I'm sorry, Dad, I'm really sorry."

“Shh, it’s fine, Julia.” Robert released her arms and rubbed her back and shoulders. “It's no wonder you couldn't hold it. You were so full, love. Let it all out so you'll feel better.”

Julia moaned weakly but made no effort to stop. Robert finished the remainder of her thirty-three smacks with the belt, but he was significantly gentler now. Julia pressed her newly freed hand between her legs, but her warmth kept seeping into Robert’s trousers. Truthfully, it might have been the most shamefully wonderful moment of his life.

“You did so well, Julia.” He stroked her hair. “Truly. Well done.”

“Are you mental?” she asked, face still red. "I wouldn't call pissing all over my dad 'well done.'"

“It’s fine.” He leaned down to kiss her head. “You did very well, even with that."

He massaged her sore limbs and could have stayed there forever, but Julia was still in too much discomfort to rest.

“The soap really burns.” She pouted her lips and gazed questioningly up at him. "May I please—?"

“Yes, you may go to the toilet now,” he told her. “In fact, why don’t you take a shower and put on fresh pyjamas while I change your bedcover, and then I’ll tuck you in once you're all clean and dry?”

"Yes, all right. That would be lovely." She sat up and hugged him, pressing her head to his chest. “But I got you all wet, too." She patted his lower stomach, where the bottom of his shirt was soaked through just above his softening cock. "Can't we shower together like we did when I was little? Please?”

Robert inhaled sharply, but that only served to give him a maddeningly thorough sniff of her sweet pheromones all over him. "I don't... Probably not, Julia. I'm sorry."

"Aw, Dad." She kissed him on the lips again. "I really want you to. Besides, I feel dizzy. What if I faint in the shower and hit my head? You ought to come join me to keep me safe."

Robert needed to tell her no, that she was much too big for him to join her in the shower for any reason, that whatever had just happened was already far past the line of propriety. He _needed_ to say all that, but he didn’t.

“Go use the toilet, Julia,” he said instead. “I’ll... come check on you once you’re in the shower. How's that sound?”

"All right." She grinned at that and gave him a big kiss on the lips. “I love you, Dad. And thank you for disciplining me. I’ll see you in a few minutes. And you'd better really come check on me.”

She climbed gingerly off his lap. She discarded her pyjama top in the hamper with a sly glance at him over her shoulder, and then she strode completely nude out of the bedroom. Robert heard the toilet flush a few minutes later, and then the shower turned on. Julia began singing a cheerful little tune.

Robert took several deep breaths, trying to make a decision. When his brain refused to work, he decided to take it one decision at a time. First, he needed to strip out of his wet clothes. Once that was done, he could toss on some shorts and a housecoat. And from there, all he had to do was decide whether to join his daughter in the shower or not.

"Dad! I'm getting dizzier!" Julia complained.

"Lie down, then," Robert told her as he pulled his soaked shirt over his head. "I'll be there in a moment."

As he discarded his wet clothing, Robert decided there was no way in hell he could tell the parenting list any of this. It would have to be his little secret—and Julia's, too, he hoped.


End file.
